When I'm at home, I generally have a pretty good sense of direction. Even when I don't know where I'm going, I can apply logic based on where the mountains are, what direction the freeway is, etc., and keep from getting lost. My husband gets lost often, but I probably shouldn't tell you that because he's reading this.
Anyhoo...something about flying to Kentucky has thrown me completely off kilter. I can't tell which way is north or south, in what direction our hotel lies, etc. Every single time Susie and I try to find something, we start out going the opposite direction and have to turn around once we figure it out. Our trip to Starbucks downtown, about four miles from our hotel, turned out to be about 12 miles.
I figured we'd make a quick trip of it and get to the barn around the same time as Patience (she has about a hundred dogs to round up, so it takes her a while to get places. OK, it's really only four, but it's three Jack Russells and a Great Dane, and they're exponential.) However, by the time we drove a couple miles in the wrong direction on Newtown, then turned around and drove straight to it, then Susie stood in line while I circled the block like I was casing the joint, then drove back and missed the turn and had to turn around and miss the turn again and turn left and then right and finally back on Newtown Pike (*gasp for breath*) we were a bit late.
Patience asked me what happened, and I innocently replied, "We got lost." This was met with a raised eyebrow. There seems to be a lot of raised eyebrows in my conversations with Patience. I hung my head and added, "on the way back from Starbucks." It's my guilty pleasure. I'm supposed to be on a diet, and Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes are not appropriate diet fare.
The eyebrow went even higher. I don't know how she does that. "It's the first one I've had all week!" I sputtered. She shook her head, cranking the eyebrow back down, but obviously sadly disappointed. She tsk'd. There's nothing quite like a good, old fashioned tsking to start the day. It is a good thing I'd already finished my latte, or I might have almost thought about maybe losing my taste for it. OK, probably not.
The day went well, but we decided that we deserved a good meal to wind it up, so tonight we decided to go to Malone's. If you have not been to Malone's, I do recommend it. It is so very choice. It is a premium steakhouse, serving real prime and Kobe beef. And they have a sushi bar! It's sooo good. It's pricey, of course, but the prices are good for what you get.
So, it was a dark and stormy night at about 9:00 pm when we left the horse park. I decided to take a "shortcut" out, which I've taken several times with other people driving, but hadn't driven myself. I thought I had it figured out, but everything looks different in the dark and rain. Poor Mary Page, a client of Patience's, was following me as I wound my way through the park, through the polo fields and past several barns before I finally made my way to the exit.
Then, she was foolish enough to follow me as I got on the freeway. My strict instructions were to turn south on 75 and take exit 108. When we got to the freeway, Susie and I read the signs carefully and took the on-ramp that we were sure led south. After driving for a while, I started to wonder if I was going the right way, but a call to Patience's husband Chris assured me that we were on the right track, because we were supposed to go south, and Susie and I both read the sign saying we were going south.
After passing a couple of pockets of civilization and seeing nothing familiar, we passed one of those signs that tells you what highway you're on. It said 75 North. I cursed under my breath and informed Susie that we had to find an exit to turn around. Part of the cursing was because I'd already gotten us lost about four times this week, and here I'd done it again...and Chris was teasing me about getting lost as it was, so I was really going to get it. In my defense, it was really dark. And stormy. And I couldn't see. And nothing looked the same as it did in daylight! Have I used that excuse before? Anyway...
We drive down the freeway, looking for an exit...for five miles. There was actually a five-mile stretch of northbound freeway with no exits...seriously? All the exits we passed, and it wasn't until I knew I was going the right way that there was this long stretch of nothing? To give you an idea, the view out our windows is pictured here.
Pretty soon we would start seeing Yankees. By the time we turned around, we were 32 miles from Malone's. It was then 9:30. Chris called me ten minutes later to find out where I was, and when I told him, I swear I could hear him banging his head on the table where they'd already been seated.
After a fabulous dinner, Susie and I decided to go to the Wal-Mart to get some Bartles & James Fuzzy Navels. I've sort of gotten her hooked on them and we have to have them every night (don't tell Patience). Unfortunately, the Wal-Mart was closed, so we continued on toward the hotel, in hopes we'd pass another store that sold them.
We happened upon a liquor store, and I pulled into the parking lot. We walked in, and Susie asked the cashier, "Do you have any Fuzzy Navels?"
Ok, I should pause here to mention that Susie is really, really blonde. I mean, I'm blonde, but man...Susie is blonde. I did a little head slap...it was embarrassing enough to walk into a liquor store to buy these things, and she had to call attention to that fact by asking for them? Then, when we finally found a suitable substitute-B & J Mixed Berry-because they didn't have the Fuzzy Navels, she asked the cashier, "Is this effervescent?"
Another head slap...first of all, I don't think the hardened guy with the tattoos working the register at the liquor store knows or cares anything about wine coolers. Second, I'm not sure he even knew what the word meant, because he had kind of a blank look on his face. I assured her that our chosen cocktail was, in fact, effervescent and we checked out. We actually managed to go straight from there back to our hotel, and are enjoying said bubbly beverage as I typsch. Oops, I think it's time to wrap this up for the night!